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The Dreaded Time of Year: Squash-pa-looza

Look, I'm getting desperate over here.  I now have NINE tromboncinos lurking on my damn kitchen table, and this is after I gave away several.  The vines have spread so far that they've climbed over my bean bed, through a tomato patch, and out the other side.  One vine has a runner that is, my hand to god, a good twenty feet long.  It has nearly reached the fence line and appears to be headed for the neighbor's house.

Each of these long trailing vine-fiends has baby squash on them.  I saw one of the rabbits go in the patch, but I haven't seen it come out.  Maybe the squash ate them.  Maybe the rabbits hollowed one out to build a home.  I fear the dog will approach too closely and be nabbled up, and he's a good eighty pounds.  These suckers have to be feeding off something.

Some of the squash in my kitchen are four pounds EACH.  Others are "only" two and a half pounds.  People, I have nearly forty pounds of squash here.  Half of which I picked yesterday. 

I have so far made:
Grilled squash
Squash lasagne (with squash "noodles")
Boiled squash
Squash muffins, squash pies
Squash bread
Side-squash
Squash salads
Squash kebabs
Squash sliced, breaded, baked, and made into zuke sticks with dipping sauce

I instituted a one squash per person per day rule, but it isn't helping.  The squashy fiends have far-outstripped our current nomming efforts, and I've started trying to feed them to the dog, who is doing his best to help out, but he's getting on in his years, and he told me he can only manage half a squash if I add some butter to it and give him time to gnaw them because his teeth aren't what they used to be.   

What am I going to do?  I looked out this morning, and even from my porch, I could see two more light green squash lighted up like mini-lanterns, ready to be picked.  Tomorrow, they'll probably weigh another pound. 

Help. Help.

Pls send recipes knthnxbai

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
pameladean
Aug. 30th, 2013 12:19 am (UTC)
At least you wanted squash. A friend of mine was in a hurry and picked up a packet of zucchini seeds in mistake for cucumbers. She hates zucchini. I have eaten a lot of the zucchini, and it's very sweet and tender even when she lets the fruits get to the size of one's arm.

I could dig out a recipe for curried squash with coconut milk. It wants yellow summer squash, but I don't see why it wouldn't work with your squash too.

Also, ratatouille; or, stew made with most the vegetables that burgeon right about now.

P.

chomiji
Aug. 30th, 2013 01:40 am (UTC)

Somehow, summer squash always seem to either overproduce wildly or die completely, don't they?

One thing you could try doing is picking them when they're tiny: stores charge a lot for adorable little baby squashes, and it means you'll fit more of of them into a serving.

I tend to be really plain with zucchini and such: slice 'em up and sauté them with garlic is about my speed. And the Mr. doesn't care for them except grilled, so I don't get them that often.

golden_bastet
Aug. 31st, 2013 01:19 pm (UTC)
I was going to comment on your apple post about the apple types I'd heard about earlier, and my fig / lemon / blueberry bushes...

and I didn't :-(

But the squashes sound... abundant, LOL.

It may be a little late now, but have you tried fried zucchini flowers?
lady_ganesh
Sep. 1st, 2013 04:04 am (UTC)
Pickling? Relish? I don't have any recipes though. Actually, I think Mom has my great-aunt's zucchini relish recipe somewhere, I could see if I can dig it up.

Alternately, is there a place where you could donate fresh produce to the local food shelf? I know there's that dragon-hoarding instinct but sometimes there's just too fucking much stuff.
vivaine3
Sep. 1st, 2013 03:59 pm (UTC)
Squash-pa-looza Recipes
We had that problem last year, but this year the bugs got to them and we haven't had a one. Lots of eggplant tho >D

Squash fritters (croquettes): Mix together 2 cups boiled, mashed squash, 1-1/2 cups Italian bread crumbs, 1/2 cup flour, 1 lightly beaten egg, 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese, 1/4 cup finely diced onion, 1/4 tspn salt and pepper. Add more breadcrumbs and flour just until dough is not sticky. Form into 3" patties and coat with more bread crumbs. In a hot skillet mix 2 tablespoons oil and 2 Tablespoons butter and heat to sizzle. Fry patties until golden brown, adding more oil and butter as needed. This works equally well with summer squash, zucchini or eggplant.

Squash pizza: Clean and slice squash to 1/8" thickness. Steam in microwave for 30 sec to soften slightly. Drain well. Slice 1/4 onion into rings. On a pizza stone or parchment lined sheet pan lay out 1 frozen pie shell. Pinch the edges of the dough into a 1/4" to 1/2" high dam to hold in the goodness. Coat lightly with olive oil. Sprinkle well with Parmesan cheese. Cover the pizza with squash slices and onion rings. Sprinkle with diced Kalamata olives, grated pizza cheese, crumbled feta cheese, crushed or ground pizza spices and salt and pepper. Bake at 350 until cheese is melted and just slightly browned.

One half pizza serves 1 person so its a good thing the pie shells come in packs of two. Even my veggie-shy nephew likes this one ;) Works with summer squash, zucchini, tomatoes or fresh sweet peppers or any combination of these. For the meat-lovers add a sprinkle of crumbled bacon, ham or sausage.

Zucchini (Squash) Cornbread: 3 cups shredded zucchini or squash, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1 stick (1/2 cup) melted butter, 1/2 cup sour cream or buttermilk, 1 grated onion, 2 tablespoons sugar, 4 eggs, lightly beaten, 1-1/2 cups white self-rising cornmeal mix, 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper, 8 ounces shredded Cheddar or Asiago cheese. Optional for a dash of color and a bit of zip: a few dashes of Tabasco sauce, 1/8 tspn ground red pepper, 4 oz finely diced pimentos, or 1/4 cup finely diced red sweet pepper.

Grate zucchini, toss with salt and let drain for 10 minutes. Pour 1/4 oil into a cast iron skillet and place in the oven at 350 to heat. Squeeze as much liquid as possible out of zucchini. Mix together all ingredients except the cornmeal. Add cornmeal and stir well. Pour into the hot skillet and bake at 350 for 45 minutes until very lightly browned. It doesn't change color very much so test for doneness with a toothpick.

This makes a very moist, cake-like cornbread that is a meal on its own. Leftovers can be crumbled into scrambled eggs as they cook with a bit more cheese for a yummy breakfast treat.

Hope that helps!
~Viv
telophase
Sep. 1st, 2013 11:57 pm (UTC)
When I was growing up, my p0arents always had loads of zucchini, which I hated. When they got too big and woody to eat, we'd lob them off of the back porch and use them for target practice with the BB gun. Sort of vegetal clay pigeons.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )