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so about that pesky Captain Awkward

I quit reading CA a long time ago, for the most part.  For the mild social situations like what to do when you want to go restaurant A and your friends wish to go to restaurant B, I think she's fine.  Gifs, funny quotes, snark, sure.

But I think her advice on mental illness is terrible.  I think her advice on how to deal with oneself or one's partner in a context of mental illness inside a healthy relationship is pretty spectacularly awful. 

I have been doing a LOT of thinking about the CA thing, and disability issues, and relationships.  I just can't help thinking that the attitudes and advice there is like a siren-song that's luring some people to their (relationship) death and it makes me sad.

(I could explain why I think this, if people are interested, but I'm pretty sure I am a far outlier on this topic.  Near as I can tell, most people love CA.)

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
erikagillian
Aug. 25th, 2013 09:45 pm (UTC)
I'd been interested. I find the columns and comments fun, in an advice column way. One or two on sexual assault were very good, I thought. I haven't noticed any on mental illness but I haven't read very many. I have depression, mostly controlled at the moment, but not till I was 29, but before that I didn't know it was mental illness though it seems obvious in retrospect :) So I'm not the most sensitive person on the subject. Which is another reason why I'd be interested in hearing what you think.
lady_ganesh
Aug. 25th, 2013 10:48 pm (UTC)
I have a friend who struggles with mental illness that's very similar to mine who loves CA. And I don't hate her but there's something that's always seemed a little off to me, so maybe your hatred will create balance in the universe, or at least help me figure out why she bugs me.
sparkymonster
Aug. 26th, 2013 07:49 pm (UTC)
I would be interested in your take on her advice.

I do like that she suggests people see mental health professionals. I do agree with her general point that, for example, I can't be my girlfriend's therapist. I'm inside the relationship, have no distance and also am not a therapist.

I like her advice on average. Taken as a whole, I like her work. Sometimes individual answers make me go ??.

I actually skip pretty much anything an advice column wants to tell me about mental health. Among other things, there is a strong narrative that depressed people are also suicidal. I've been depressed my adult life. I've never felt suicidal.

Which is not to say that suicidal feelings aren't important, or that they shouldn't be dealt with, or that suicide has nothing to do with depression. If you commit suicide you're probably not in a good mental health place. Stuff.

A lot of the popular blog posts about what depression is like do not capture how I feel. They get bits of it, but there are those moments where I'm like "WTF. That is not my experience at all."
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )